New Things To Conquer

Hola Amigos!

New news from me! Only 2 weeks left of Physical Therapy!! Yay!! I'll make sure to add a picture of the new athletic brace I have to wear in my next post...

Besides PT, I've had to deal with a serious bout of depression.... Not to mention most of my friends seem to think that I don't exist any more, and that I am just a silly person trying to get attention...

Still, I try to hide my hurt, and I imagine them somewhere else, where they don't mock me, or ignore me...

The title of this post (rightfully named) is about conquering new things... And the only new things I have to conquer is trying to regain all of my old muscle mass, and I have to try and be as positive as I can, no matter what the trial...

Because smiling is a great way to get rid of a frown! :)

Stay strong! Conquer on!

~Me




Here's a couple pics of my life right now :)

Me and my new glasses :D

Me and my amazing brother!

Me and my mom...

The sushi that I made today :)

 

My amazingly wonderful Family!

Why?

It's like no matter how hard I try, I'll always be a screw up... 

Here are a couple of my posts to help explain..


**(from Tuesday, May 14, 2013)


       "Ahhhh the Tuesday... one of my least favorite days... "Why?" you ask? Because Tuesdays are the days where I am ignored the most... "But Tamara, people love you!" Haha yeah, if you came to Mutual, you'd know how much of a lie that is...

Little back story... When I turned 16, I was so excited to be hanging out with  the girls who were older, and I thought I would have a chance to finally belong somewhere... Well, I was wrong... They ignore me, and forget I'm around, and then they talk to each other, and say things I'm not in on... Every time I am around them, I feel invisible... I feel awful for trying to speak up, and sometimes, they give me weird looks...

Yeah, I wear black... yeah, I don't smile as much as i used to... Yeah, I don't laugh as much... Yeah, I'm different... But they don't know why I'm like this... But they don't even try to make me feel welcome...Sorry for trying...

And now I find out that I don't get to see my dad on Sundays anymore... I still get to see him after church, and on Wednesdays, but it'll only be for a couple of hours... Which won't change, but it was nice seeing him more than once a week...

I haven't slept in almost 3 days... I feel so.........

I don't know what to feel anymore..."



**(from May 3, 2013)

          "Having a bad day right after crying your eyes out, not sleeping, and then thinking about horrible things makes me really want to cry... But if you think about it, the circle of my life might just start all over again... "


It's hard for me to keep trying to be who I want to be... What's the point? I'm constantly made fun of, constantly told I'm just a problem... What's the point? Why do I even try??

As to my recovery, I'm making amazing progress!! I've gotten back to 0 degree straight (which is good :) ) and I'm at 121 degree bend! Getting back to normal never felt so good!!!!! I also finally got to take off my big black brace! :) Haha wooo!!! :)

That's all for now! I'll keep you posted!

~Me :)