An Ever Winding Path

When thinking of something cheery to say to all of my readers, I promptly could not think of ANYTHING to say! :) But hopefully, something will come to me soon!

I just want to start off by saying that I am seriously glad that my summer is almost over! Don't get me wrong, there were some AMAZING moments, but they are far behind me now! School starts in 7 days, and I am so ready to go back, to be with all of my friends, and to learn whatever I can before I go on my mission!

Speaking of Missions, my elder brother is leaving in a month for his Mission to Lima, Peru! It's a crazy time for me and my family, because I will become the oldest child, the one who gets to drive the others around and get them where they need to go... But that's not til December :)

As I think back on my summer, and all the amazing adventures I had, I think back to the canoeing trip I took during High Adventure. Just to back up- High Adventure is for 16-18 year old youth in the Church. They basically go and do all kinds of fun things, and this year, the Stake Leadership decided that they would combine the Young Men and Young Women (and keep us on opposite sides of the camp ground of course :) ) We did Via Feratta, which was AWESOME! (click the link to see the webpage of the place we went-- Torrent Falls- Via Ferrata) Not to mention my fear of heights was slightly over come, thanks to the help of a dear friend :) But it was fun to go around and to test the strength of your arms! While on this trip, the adult leaders in charge challenged us to find some way to apply it to the Gospel... The way that I compared it to the gospel was this: You had a clip that was in the middle of the harness, called your "rest clip" or something like that. You would clip it to the steel re-bar when you wanted to give your arms a rest. But me being me, I held on for dear life, even after the clip was in place! All I needed to do was to let go and trust that I would not fall, much like unto having faith in Christ. He won't let us fall, because he knows he won't let us. We just need to take that small step of faith and let go of the worldly problems and such and let Him take care of them!

I've also been doing some more poem writing and sketching. (To see the poem blog, click here.) Just read to the end of the post and you'll see my latest "masterpiece" as a very dear friend calls them. As most people know, I tend to think inward, about my feelings, when I write or draw. And let me just tell you, things haven't been easy. I've struggled with feeling down and trying to find where I belong in my hectic and crazy world. "I struggle just to find a better way" (Breaking Benjamin "Here We Are"). Out of all this struggle and torment, I can indeed say one thing. I am going through these trials for a reason! And I just have to fight til the end, and pray for help, and wait to find the blessings that come after the storm :)

As always, I am here for you! Just shoot me an email or a message if you need to vent about something :)

Stay Amazing!

~Me

Mini Mission ~ Senoir Status

Hello there!

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I've been busy with end of the year finals, and other school stuff. My Summer started with the best experience of my life! My Mini Mission!!!! :D

Truly, I think that had I not gone, I would have had a very different summer!

Just a little back ground info for those who don't know what in the world I am talking about :) I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Otherwise known as Mormons! When a girl (for my case) goes on a mission, it's not just a trip. She volunteers her time and efforts to go out to a different state, or even country, to be in the world, but not of the world, and to share the message of the Gospel. It's all on them! They raise and save the money for this, and it is a life changing experience! And I got to have a taste of that for a week!

I met so many people, those who helped build my testimony, and those who tried my patience :) But everyone deserves a chance!

Something I learned while I was out was that you may be someone completely different on the outside than you are on the inside. One man we taught was struggling to understand how he could ever be worth something more than what he thought he was worth. And so I told him my story. I told him about my depression and about everything that I went through for the last 2 years. I made a point to say that I did lose faith that I was someone who could be worth anything at all. It amazed him to see how much I wasn't who he thought I was. He had thought that I was a happy teenager. It was wonderful to see the look on his face as he got a real look at who I was and how strong I am. On our way home, he told me that he had no idea, and that he couldn't even tell that I had been depressed. I told him that this was what the Gospel could do for him.

One other thing I learned was that if we have the simplest faith, anything can happen! My companions and I visited a member who was from Cambodia. She had heard about the Church as a little girl. One story she told us was that here family was trying to find a way to leave Cambodia during the Vietnam War. Her family knelt in prayer and asked Heavenly Father for the means, no matter how small, to be able to leave and come to America. The next morning, they went to sign up for the refugee roster to find passage on a boat, and found that they were already on the list, to leave the very next day. How wonderful is it to know that if we have but a mustard seed of faith then the Lord will bless us!

On another note, I am finally to the final year of schooling! I made it to my Senior year! How crazy is that?! It's hard to believe, for me at least, that I am at the pinnacle of my young adult life! But I am ready to go and to excel in everything I try, and if I can't excel, I'll just do my best :) Among other things, I am looking forward to representing my Choir as President, and hopefully, the other officers feel the same way! It's shaping up to be an amazing year!

As a final message to those reading: Remember that even when you don't like yourself, or you think you aren't worth it, Someone, somewhere is looking out for you and wants to help you in any way they can! It could be a friend, or someone you haven't even met yet! Keep your eyes open!

~Me

Putting A Spring in Your Step

It's almost been a year since my surgery! It's crazy to think about all that I have been able to do, and all that I have become since then!


It's now officially Spring here in the States... And I can't say I've been ready for it for a while now :) What with all the weather that's been below 0 for so long, and for all the crazy weather changes, from ice to rain. I've been ever so grateful for all the blessings that I have! So much of my life is a blessing, and through the help of a very dear friend of mine, I have come to realize that I am as much a blessing to myself than those around me are!

For the second semester of my School year, I have been working in my schools Guidance Office. I deliver passes to see the Counselors, put together packets for Seniors, and other odd jobs that need done around the office. On one occasion, I was assigned to take a new student around the school. It was a wonderful experience, because I was able to make a new friend, and I was able to share a few secrets that I've learned in the three years I have been there :) One thing that impressed me, was that even after I had shown her around the school, she still came and sought me out on her first day and asked if I could help her around again. She could have easily asked someone else, but as we were talking, she told me that she was impressed that I knew so much (Even though it's not really that impressive) and that I was always happy (apparently, she'd asked around about me). I was stunned, and grateful that someone noticed. I explained to her my motto: If you smile, People around you will smile too!

In a short explanation, the reason that this is my motto is because most often, people look to someone who is trying to find the amazing things in the day, and they would much rather be around someone who is smiling. Happiness is as contagious as a bad mood :) If you spread it around, people will generally be happier, and things will go more smoothly during the day. Try it! You never know what good you will be able to accomplish!

This Spring, try and make a difference! I have faith in you, and I know that you can do it! :) Remember, someone somewhere is thinking about you, and they want the best for you!

Stay Amazing!

~Me

Looking Back~ Here and There

Greetings and Happy Holidays!

What a time of the year! It's always fun to celebrate Christmas with my family. But what's even better is that I'm now one year older! It's crazy to think that I'm so close to being an adult, but it's so far away! I'll still be the same, believe me :) Still the adorable amazing girl everyone knows me as :)

This brings back memories of this past February... The ACL tear! February 18th, 2013 - the game against Xenia, where I possibly had the most life changing experience of my young life! As I lay on the floor, I could hear the pounding footsteps of those people who rushed to help me. Excruciating pain was coursing through my knees, and tears rushed down from my face. It wasn't because of the pain, because it did hurt! But I think I cried most for the fact that I had failed myself. I can't really explain it, other than I was so upset that I had let myself slip into this predicament! But- There I lay, in so much pain and sadness. Here,in the present, I am much stronger, physically, and spiritually! So much good can come of something that seems so horrible!

March 25th, 2013- The surgery! I was terrified, because I had never had something like that happen to me before! I prayed, I cried, I slept rather poorly, and I was shown so much love that I'm not sure why I was even scared! I can remember, right before they put me under, I felt this immense rush of love and care, and I knew then that everything would be ok, that I could trust my surgeon. The best part? Waking up :) I remember looking like a little baby, wrapped in so many blankets to keep me warm :) (I get really cold really easily)

July 2013- Girls Camp and Youth Conference. Ahhhh the memories that I have from Kirtland and Palmyra! Two of my most favorite summer activities! So much friendship and familiarity! The people that you meet will always stick with you, even after you move! It was wonderful to be with so many friends and so many of those who will be with me forever. There, I was among friends. Here, I learned that people are watching you, wanting to follow how you lead, and hopefully, I can lead people in the right way!

August 7-18, 2013- The Great RV Trip :D Haha So many fun memories and so many things that I learned! To see about our trip, follow this link : The Trip of the Summer :) There, I was just on a trip, away from the hardships that life brought. Here, I know that I'm not the person I thought I was.

School started late August. The first few weeks were rough! I was alone, hardly anyone talked to me, and I hardly talked to anyone. I was quiet, shy, and someone I never thought I would be! I was reserved, tired, and I tried to stay as far away from the lime light as possible. Then something inside me changed. I started trying again, I started to talk to people again. And I have a few people to thank for that! I tried out for a solo in Choir, and got it, hands down. My voice matured and blossomed over the summer, and I hadn't tried to share my talents. People to this day are still telling me I am the most amazing, angelic singer that they have ever heard. There, at school, I felt that I was alone and unwanted. Here, almost half way done with my 3rd year, I know that people want me around.

Now, here I am in December, at the close of this year. It's been crazy! Things don't seem to be any different, but I am different. Looking back, I can see that I was afraid of who I was. I didn't know how much I meant to people. I was depressed, because I thought that I was the reason for everyone's problems. Now, I can see that I was totally, undeniably wrong. I am talented, smart, lovely, adorable, spunky, persistent, and I am hard working. I don't want o go back to the way I was. I want to remain strong, fight my battles as they arise, and I want to be able to help people when they need it, and be able to help in the best way that I can.

How different are you? Look back at your year, and see how far you've really come!

You are the most amazing person that you can be! Don't give up!

~Me

Be an Example

Whether you know it or not, you are an example to someone! Your daily actions and words affect those around you in ways that you cannot possibly imagine! I have seen this first hand in my life as well as in the lives of others.

This past summer, I blogged about an experience that I had at Girls Camp. A girl whom I had never met personally, but had heard about handed me a note telling me that I had shown her the good in life, and had been a role model for her. I didn't even know I was doing that! I was just going through my day trying to show people that I was doing fine, even after a rough let down, and with all the trials that I face at home and at school. I never in my wildest dreams had thought that someone would ever look up to me!

Your example matters! People all around you are watching you, waiting for you to react. How you react, and how you deal with your trials and hardships can affect not only you and your family, but there could be someone out there dealing with the same problem. They could be seeing your reaction, and think that that is the best way to deal with that problem. Think things through, and try and work it out as best you can.

In a conversation that I had with my friends the other day, I was reminded of how much I mean to everyone. I am someone who is a rock to one, who brightens the day of another, and who keeps the emotions and feelings of another. You CAN be an amazing example to others! Have faith in the things you can do, and develop the talents that you want to have.

And remember! Stay amazing!

~Me

Feeling Deeper

I write. Poetry, stories, music. Anything. I write to get rid of bad feelings, I write to express my deepest feelings. I use written word to tell people what my mouth won't say. It comes from my heart, and it isn't something that I do lightly. I know how powerful words can be, how they can crush spirits, or can lift someone up.

I sing. I am a three time winner of the Outstanding Choral Member award, both in Middle School and in High School. I was my Choir teachers favorite student (she retired last year). I've gotten straight ones at Choral contests, both in District and State. I am an accomplished, if not amazing singer. (I will not openly admit it, because I don't like people thinking that they can't be as good as me.)

Everyone has the ability to do anything they want, but they can only achieve their goal unless they put forth their best effort and try their hardest. Just believe that you can, and you will!

I judge how well a song is in a weird way. I listen to the music, but I only pay attention to the words. If I can make a connection to the words, if they mean something to me, put to words how I felt in a certain situation, then I'll love it. When I listen to music I don't just listen. I feel it. I feel the power of the music, feel the deeper meaning.

When you listen to music, or even to your friends talking, listen for the deeper meaning. They could be telling you something that you won't know unless you think deeper. Don't let an opportunity of helping someone pass you by!

You can make a difference!!!

~Me

Believing You Are.....

Having the inclination to do something is one thing, but believing that you can do it is another!

One of my major struggles is believing that I can be something more than what I am. For the longest time I felt like I was just another person, like I wasn't anything special to anyone. Now, I realize that I was so far from the truth! I am much more than I thought.

I wrote the following poem for a friend who was struggling, and now, I realize that the words apply to myself as well.

Inside Me~

Somewhere inside me
A little voice cries
Telling me to breathe
To open my eyes.

Believe in something
Much bigger than you
Have faith in your life
To yourself be true.

Hang on to the good
Hold on to the right
Grasp all of your knowledge
And hold on tight.

Hold out your hand
And be open to all.
Be there when you should
When you hear them call.

Remember your virtues
Remember your friends
Remember the blessings
Just around the bends.

The war within you
Will some day cease
The pain and torment
Will turn to peace.

Hang on to your good
Hold on to your right
Let go of  your anger
Let your fear take flight.

Believe in yourself
Do not give up hope
I know you can do it
I know you can cope.

I know you can make it
I know you can
We'll do this together
Just take my hand.

Finding who we are and trusting ourselves to make the daily decisions that we have to make is something that can help make each day the most amazing. Believing that you are special, that you are loved, and that you are something worth the time of those around you not only boosts your spirits, but it helps those around you. You may ask, "How can this be true?" Even when you don't realize it, people are watching you, and they may even be imitating you! The example that you set, and the aura that you give off can affect those around you more than you know.

Believe that you mean something to someone. Believe that you are something much more amazing than you think. Believe that you can make a difference, because if you do, you will! Belief turns into faith, faith turns into action, and action turns in to results :)

Keep going! I know you can make it!

"Clap along if you know what happiness means to you"
~Pharrell Williams

Stay amazing!

~Me